Rat Race (whining ahead)

Remember how I just said I like work?  That’s still true, I like what I’m doing…but I am SO TIRED of working.  I have worked 60+ hours per week the last four weeks.  I see Adam for half an hour between when he gets home from work and when I leave for work.  I have to pay for my school bill from the paycheck I get today, which leaves…nothing.  I worked so many extra hours to pay for school, which will (hopefully) get me into MORE school, which will get me a better job…but I’m TIRED OF WORKING SO MUCH.

Sorry to vent, it’s my own fault.  I’m just getting tired of working so hard for one thing, just to have to turn around and be back at square one, working even harder to get to where I want to be next.  This would have been so much easier if I had just gone straight to grad school after graduation.  Then again, it would have been so much easier if I had known what I wanted to do when I got my bachelor’s, so I could have taken all the classes I needed for grad school.  Mom, I know I didn’t want to hear it back then, but you were on the right track way back when you suggested I take a semester off and decide what I wanted to do.  Although, it’s only by going through what I’ve been through that I learned what i wanted to do.  So I guess that wouldn’t have worked either.  Damn.

I’m happy with my life in general – I’m thankful for all the experiences I’ve had, but the cruise director/control freak in me is going a little nutty right now, with so much to figure out.  I need to take a big, deep breath, and remember that it’ll all be OK.  I’m healthy, I have a roof over my head and food on the table and a good job (even if I don’t always think so), and that things will work out.

But I’m still tired of working so much.


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